I Did What I Knew Best
by joce992002299
Summary: Bella is raped by her mother's boyfriend, James. when she ends up pregnant she runs away from her Pheonix home to forks to live with her Dad, leaving her boyfriend, Edward behind. full sumary inside bxe
1. Chapter 1

Bella is raped by her mother's boyfriend, James. When she ends up pregnant she makes the decision to run away to Forks to live with her Dad under the agreement that he tell her mom that he launched a false investigation to "find" her. Also he must never tell anyone that she knw in Phonix where she is. But when her boyfriends family moves to Forks for a change of scene, con she keep away from the her previous green eyed lover? And when said lover believes that Bella's child is his, how will he take it?

relatinships:

CANNON PAIRINGS

JAMES IS EDWARDS UNCLE/ESME'S BROTHER

Bpov

I ran away from home at the age of fifteen. That night i sat in my room, waiting for my mom to go to sleep. She seemed to be taking her sweet time on this particular night. It was like she unconsciously knew something was up. I bet now she wished that she did.

When I heard her stop moving around I started timing her. Ten minutes and she should be down for the count. It never failed on those nights that I snuck ot to my boyfriend, Edward's, house. His brother Emmett just happened to be my best friend.

For ten minutes I just sat there and stared at my wall, thinking. I wondered if she would figure out why I left, if anyone would figure out why I left. I highly doubted it because James was good at keeping secrets. I knew that I would never tell anyone, there was no point. I would probably never see anyone from this city again anyway, simply because I would never come back. That would be the dumbest move I could make, and trust that I have made some dumb moves.

Coming back would defeat the whole purpose of leaving. James would find out, and not only would my life be in danger, but aso the life of my unborn child.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mommy!", my three year old son shouted to me. He ran toward me. I knelt down and held my arms out for him to run to me. I bad just gotten off of the work and came and came to pick him up from his babysitters. Well I guess you can't really call it the baby sitters house, more like his uncle's house. His Uncle Jacob's house.

I watched my son's coppery curls bounce as he stumbled toward me. What a beautiful child he was. His pale skin practically glittered in the sun light. His bright happy smile just enhanced his bright green eyes.

He laughed happily as he threw himself into my arms. How I loved this kid. He kissed me in the cheek and preceded to ask me about my day. Jeez, he must be watching Jake and Leah again. Those two act like an old married couple and for some reason my son found it fun to imitate them.

"It was just fine honey. How was your day?" I asked.

He tapped his chin and appeared to be thinking as he came up with an appropriate answer. I found it hard to hold in my laugh and he knew it. He looked at me with a mock disdain and turned away from me to walk back inside. After that I couldn't contain myself. I burst into laughter. He was so grow up for a three old to have this type of humor.

He came running back all smiles and proceeded to throw himself into my arms again. That was going o have to stop soon. This kid seemed to get bigger every afternoon that I came to get him. Jake was rubbing off on him a little too much. Jake did the same thing two years ago. Now he's like the jolly green giant. All height and smiles.

Speaking of the devil, Jake came lumbering out of the house, like I said, all smiles.

"Hey Jake!", I called out. If it was even possible, his smile got even bigger and he came to envelope me into a hug.

"Hey Bells", he said into my ear. If you saw Jake, my son, Anthony, and I all together, (subtracting the fact that Anthony looks nothing like either of us), you would think that we were a family. That Anthony was Jake's kid, and that Jake and I were together, like a couple. I admit, we have potential to become a couple, but it never happened. Not for lack of trying of Jacob's part. I just couldn't stand to be with him, knowing that I couldn't fully him what he deserved.

"Has this little demon been good today?" I playfully rubbed Anthony's head as I asked Jake the question.

He looked at me pretending to be serious as if be listed off all the bad things that Anthony did that day. It started out with Anthony breaking a handpainted glass until eventually he had burned he house down. I gasped in fake in fake horror as Anthony giggled sporadically.

"Young man!"I practically yelled, giving him a stern look. "You will apologize his minutes for making Uncle Jake and Aunt Leah homeless!" at this point Anthony was almost joking with his laughter. He looked up at me with his wide eyes as he pleaded with me.

"But mama! That wasn't me!" he then in turn gave Jake the same stern look I had given to him. "Tell the truth Uncle Jake", he ordered.

"Ok, ok. It was really Leah that did all those things!" Jake said. This only caused Anthony to burst into another fit of giggles.

"Alright, alright" I said. "Let me get him home before he dies of laughter." Jake gave us both one final hug before we walked to my car. I had a cherry red Acura tl which I loved to death. This was the most important thing in my life, besides my son, of course. I strapped Anthony in and begun to drive the twenty minute drive home. Five minutes into the ride I peeked back and saw Anthony already sleep. As usual, Jake exhausted him. Good job buddy, I thought.

Not that I didn't want to spend time with my son, but I had work that I desperately needed to finish. I had to make up a lesson plan for the juniors that I taught at Forks High, grade essays, and work on my novel.

Some people would say that I took on too much, being a career writer and a high school teacher, hell, even I think it, but for some reason I couldn't see myself not doing either of them. I loved literature, so I could see the pull there; but why a teacher? There's nothing special about that I don't think. Maybe it's my desire to be able to read all those cheesy novels like withering heights with an excuse.

I looked back and saw Anthony still sound asleep. That kid could sleep for days when Jake wore him out like this. In one situation after coming back from Jakes house he actually did sleep for nearly seventeen hours. By the time he finally woke up was freaking out. I practically had him in the car on the way to the hospital.

This was after I called Jake and cursed him for out for poisoning my son. He swore up and down that he didn't do anything besides play with him and feed him macaroni. Then I accused him of feeding my son old food. He didn't take that well.

He told me to get over myself and stop acting like everyone is was out to get me. Little did he know that I had good reason to act that way. If James wanted to if he tried hard enough he could find me. All it would take was some well put questions to find out that I actually did move my day nearly four years ago. Then from there, all he would have is walk down the street from my dad's house, considering I couldn't stand move far away from him. He and my son had gotten extra close, seeing as he was the only one there when he was born. Charlie had been my support system, and the best grandpa ever to Anthony.

I didn't want to far from also because I that when, not if, James did find us, dad could be in my house in a heartbeat. James had made it clear before I left that I was his, despite the fact that I was dating his nephew. Family didn't seem to be an important factor in his life. Look what he had done with my relationship with my mother. I couldn't stand to call her (which I didn't try to do until I turned eighteen and she couldn't force me home. I also didn't tell her about Anthony, knowing that it would get back to James.) She always told me bedor I stopped calling last year how much he misses me and blah, blah, blah, all that other shit that he fed her. I knew the truth. He didn't miss me, he missed raping me. He missed taunting me about how much his nephew Edward could satisfy me as he did. The truth was no one ever satisfied me. Edward and I had sex for the first and only time right after James first raped me. I felt so dirty that I just wanted him to wash the memory away, but while it was happening I went into total shot down mode. Edward hadn't noticed it until after he had found his release, while I sat there like a corpes, practically dead to the world. We never tried again.

He was so pissed with me for my "infidelity" as he called it. I was supposed to be a virgin, just like him. He wondered, or practically yelled how much of a whore I was for lying to him for our whole lives. He ranted about how he had saved himself for me when all those other girls were all over him. He gave a manical laugh about how he could have any girl in our school, but he chose to be with me. He spat that I was unworthy of him, before grabbing his clothes and storming off to the bathroom. When he came back I was curled up in his bed, bowling my eyes out. When he walked to door I steeled myself knowing that if I did tell him something he would leave me.

"Edward" I called out in a small voice. He turned to me with his hand on the door. I could see the fury inhis eyes as he refused to say anything. "It was two weeks ago", I watched the fury in his eyes grow as they turned into pitch black. He was twisting the knob when I practically whispered, "I was raped." That once again stopped him dead in his tracks as his face contorted in horror. He ran to me, I was still naked on the bed when he gathered me into his arms and I cried into his shirt.

That night I didn't go home until midnight. As I was leaving I got a kiss from Edward. I guess I was forgiven then. When I thought that thought I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help but feel responsible. Maybe if I did this James taken a linking to me and raped me. He only raped me three more tomes after I left. I figured the first had to be when I got pregnant by dates. I also knew that Edward wasn't the father because unlike with James at the first time we used a condom.

So here I am, the nineteen old mother, I never had never have an orgasm. The idea of pleasuring myself never appealed to me, but never did letting someone else. It wasn't like I didn't notice and appreciate hot guys, I just could never properly enthusiastic about sex, being as it nearly ruined my life.

I never told anyone about Anthony's father, knowing that after hearing the story people would look at my son differently. How many rape babies are truly accepted in this world. My son would not live and grow up paying for his father's sins. I would not allow people to make him feel sorry for being who he is. He was a great lithe boy and if I, his mother, the raped one, held no grudge toward him no one else had the right to either. Ever since I learned about him, I loved him as my world.

My eyes wandered to the back where I saw James' face sleeping peacefully. As much as I hated to admit it, he was handsome, and my son was the spitting image of him. Under James' face I also saw Edward. It was uncanny how much he looked like James. That eventually caused a rift in our relationship too. I get how the fact that your girlfriend couldn't stand have sex with you, and at he same time can't stand to look at you could make a person mad.

Anthony and I got home and I put him to bed. It was only six in the afternoon but I knew he would sleep the night away. I want and took a long hot shower before curling up on my couch with my lPtop listening to my voice mail. I had four junk voice mails before I got to one from Angela, the secretary at Forks High.

"Hello Bella" she greeted. "I jut wanted to remind you that you have to be here early on Monday morning, because Mrs. Smalls is leaving and you will have to meet the teacher that you are stident teaching for. His name is Jasper Hale and he will meet you at his class at seven forty five in the morning. That's all, bye," she ended lamely. We were good friends but she couldn't gossip from school phone because all the calls were recorded. At the same time I knew she expected me at the school at seven thirty so she could give me the dish of Mr. Jasper Hale.

Sorry for the late update but my computer isn't in sync with the fanfiction so I thank Ana Masen Cullen Br for posting this for me. I promise longer chapters too, but I'm doing this on my iPhone. Lucky I'm a good typer, huh?! And just do there is no confusion this is not Jasper/Bella. I love REVIEWS.


	3. Chapter 3: First Connections

Chapter three: First connection and Sexy Voices.

Before I had a kid I always used to think that those mothers who complained about their kids being messy were just exaggerated and whiny. Now I understand. Anthony made sure I was always busy cleaning up after him. Whether it was just his hands or his feet. The kid hated dirt, and anything that grossly resembled it. But for some reason, he couldn't seem to stay away from it.

I remember one time we were in the back yard and Anthony was playing in the grass while I read a book. One minute it silent, except for the occasional giggle, and the next minute he is screaming like someone was trying to murder him! I dropped the book, grabbed my first aid kit (which I always kept close by, knowing my luck), and sped to where he was sitting in the grass. I did a quick once over, check for obvious injuries, and when I saw nothing I tried to pull him to me.

"No, mommy!" he wailed when I touched the back of his hand. "Dot touch it!"

"Does it hurt?" I asked. When he didn't answer me, but continued on weeping I made to grab his hand again. He pulled it back sharply and and held it palm up for me to see. It was filthy. I tried really hard not to cringe away (I am sort of a neat freak too), but I failed miserably. When he saw me back away he only began to cry harder.

I steeled myself and opened my first aid kit. I took out and extra large alcohol pad and opened it. I latched on to my son's wrist, despite his struggles, and cleaned his hand. All the while I was searching for some sign of what was wrong. Swelling, a bruise, something, but I found nothing. I was focusing so hard on his hand that I didn't notice he wasn't crying anymore. He seemed to be assessing his body's condition. When I finished he pulled his hand back and scooted into my lap.

"What's wrong, you?" I asked as I stroked the hair from his forehead. When he didn't say anything, but pointed to the dirt, I figured it out. My son was crazy just like me. "The dirt?" I questioned him softly. He nodded his head. "What's wrong with the dirt?"

he looked at me, melting me with his soft green gaze. "You," he said simply. Me? What did I do, I wondered. He was still looking at me when he said, "You don't like it." then I realized what was wrong.

For his whole life Anthony had watched me obsessively clean the house. I never wanted any germs near my son, so I I sprayed Lysol on everything multiple times a day. I hand washed dishes before I put them in the dish washer. I mopped the floor every night. I had gotten so used to this that it became a part of my life. A shrink might be able to connect this to James, saying I felt dirty or something, but that wasn't it. It was truly about my son. I had no clue what his genes were, or if he was more susceptible to sickness than me, and I wasn't taking chances.

Anthony felt that if I didn't like dirt, I wouldn't like him when he was dirty. My son was so ridiculous, but at the same time, so logical. If he wasn't my son and just some random old kid, I wouldn't dare to touch him unless he was clean. That was what kept me away from most babies, and still does. But my son was different, and he didn't get that. His trying to placate me at every turn just seemed to make things harder for me.

So on Sunday night, when he was down for the count, I was in heaven. I sat on the living room couch reading a book like I usually did on Sundays. When my phone rang, I was naturally shocked. Everyone knew better than to call me after eight on Sundays. This was my down time, the one time of the week where I actually got to relax and not worry about anything. Anyone that was scared of having their heads disconnected from their necks wouldn't dare to dial my number.

I contemplated not answering it, but then thought better of it. Nickleback popped into my mind, if today was your last day. That song made me pick up.

"Hello?" I answered. There was a pause before the most alluring voice alerted me to its presence.

"Hello?" he said. "Is this Isabella Swan?"

"Yes this is. Who is this?" I asked.

"Hello, ma'am," he said in a Texan accent. "my name is Jasper Whitlock, the new English teacher at Forks High..." he trailed off as if he wasn't sure I would remember.

"Oh, yes. How may I help you Mr. Whitlock? Is there a problem?" I was instantly concerned. It was Sunday after all. No one conducted business or work on Sundays unless they had to or it was and emergency.

"No! Isabella, there is no problem," he quickly reassured me, though his voice was doing a good job of that itself. Jeez, he sounded like sex on wheels. "No problem at all. I just wanted to call and inquire about the schedule tomorrow. I wont be there all that early because of something I have to do with my wife."

damn. There went any hope that I had in my heart. Not that I had any. He had a wife. "Oh, okay. What do you want to know?" I asked.

"Well, basically, anything that is normal to the class. I don't want to uproot them when they have probably just gotten used to the way their other teacher did things," he told me. "So anything you can tell me that is considered routine I would greatly appreciate it."

So I told Sex on Wheels what he wanted to know. It felt good to be attracted to a man again. The bizarre part about it is that I haven't even seen this man, yet, he could be, short, ugly, and fat with a Charlie Chaplain mustache. I was willing to take it for now.

When I finished telling Sex on Wheels, I couldn't seem to stop calling him that (in my mind of course), the class routines, he thanked me and said he needed to go.

"Alright then, don't hesitate to ask me for anything that you may need," I told him. I had to work hard for my voice not to come out sounding like I was coming on to him, though I think I was. I'm not sure how far I would let him take 'anything' if he took me up on my offer. Considering I've only had sex, at least consensual, one time, I wasn't sure f I would ever let somebody into my bed (or go to theirs which ever comes up first). Though I was positive that one Mr. Jasper Whitlock would be the star of some of my naughty night time fantasies.

"Thank you Miss Swan. I wont hesitate," was it me, or was there something in his voice when he said that? I think it was just me and wishful thinking.

"Goodbye, Mr. Whitlock, I'll see you in the morning," I practically whispered. Jeez, could I be anymore obvious?

"Goodnight Miss Swan," I could swear I heard amusement in his voice that time. Maybe he found my unconscious advances funny. Well wasn't that just mortifying?

I hung up the phone and sat back with a sigh. My mind was racing with Jasper Whitlock. I could fantasize about him, but I'd never act on it. He had a wife. I could never do that to another woman. I guess it was good that he wasn't attracted to me, right? I guess so.

That night when I went to sleep, surprisingly I didn't dream about Jasper. I dreamed about James. My dream was about how it was like after that creep sneaked into my bed that first night.

_I woke up sore. Not only my thighs, but also my neck where James had repeatedly bitten me in the throes of passion. His passion, not mine. I hated myself for letting that happen to me. After seeing movies and reading books where this has happened to girls, I knew it wasn't my fault. I knew that James was despicable for raping a teenage girl, but that didn't stop the thoughts. It didn't stop me from thinking that I wanted to die. It didn't stop me from thinking about the knives in the kitchen and how it would feel to just stab myself._

_I would never think about slitting my wrist, just reading about it makes my hands ache. I also knew that they could save me if they caught it in time. I didn't want to be saved. I wanted to die. I needed to die. They could save me from a wound to the heart. _

_I realized that this is how they all feel. They all wanted to die, and the one that didn't die got help. I pictured my self sitting in therapy, and already knew I couldn't do it. This kind of thing wasn't something to tell, even though I knew I should. The way people would look at me will make me feel like its happening again. I didn't want that. I knew it would get out if I just told my mom. She'd flip and James ass would be grass, but so would mine. Everyone at school would find out. The girls would pity me, the boys would avoid me. _

_I look down at myself, I had bruises on nearly every surface of my body. Though I didn't want to, I looked at my thighs. They were covered in James' 'stuff'. It was disgusting. Then I panic._

_'Stuff' plus girl equals kid. Ewww. My heart clenched at the thought of having his demon spawn growing inside of me. I would kill it. I wouldn't be able to look at it without thinking of its father. And announcing to the world that I was preggers with _his_ kid?!! not gonna happen._

_My irrational mind took over. I needed to shower quickly. I had to get his stuff off of me. I took a scalding shower, washing and rinsing my body at least ten times. In the end I wound up just standing under the spray, spent. _

_I had to overrule what he did to me. I needed to block out the memory of his hands on my last night I needed to get laid. I dressed in my sexiest underwear and put on a dress. I could do this. I walked downstairs, hoping James had gone home. I walked into the kitchen and immediately saw the note hanging from the door jamb. _

Gone to James' with him. Be back tonight (hopefully ;) ).

call my cell or his home if you need anything.

Love

Renee

_I loved how my mom knew I called her Renee and didn't give a damn. Right then though, that fact didn't hold any charm for me._

_I was headed to Edwards._

How'd it go? Sorry it took so long to get out but someone literally smashed my computer. I just got a new one so I plan to update at least once a week. I'm very busy with school so don't shoot me if this is too short.

Reviews are greatly appreciated and give me the incentive to write more... hint. Hint.


	4. Chapter 4: Daddy?

When I woke up on Monday morning I groaned. The challenges of the morning were going to wear me down before I even got started. First I had to wake Anthony up. That alone made me want to crawl back into bed. The kid had a real problem with waking up at six on Monday mornings. He didn't get used to waking up until around Wednesday. By then the week is half over. Then it seems he cant not wake up at six on Saturdays. Sunday is the day that he breaks out of the habit. Crazy kid.

After that, he had to have his bath. Something that the kid couldn't seem to go without. Then breakfast. He didn't care what it was, as long as I cooked it. Then he got dressed. He made sure that I had ironed his clothes. Then he checked his diaper bag, making sure that I put everything he might want for the day inside. He's like a forty year old spinster. Everything had to be just right.

I rolled out of bed and hopped in the shower. I made sure not to use all of the hot water so Anthony's bath would be comfortable. Then when I got out I lotioned up, and got dressed. A black pencil skirt, purple shirt, and black heels. I debated whether or not to put on tights, but just said forget it. They'd probably be ripped by the end of the day anyways. When I left my room it was six ten. I walked into Anthony' s room and bent over his big boy Cars bed. Lightning McQueen was his favorite cartoon character so I got him this bed for his third birthday. It was raised on the side so he couldn't roll out, but he would have no problem consciously getting out.

My son was sleeping on his back, blissfully unaware that his sweet dreams were about to be interrupted. As I walked to his bed I called his name. With each time I called out, I got louder. I was right beside his small head when I made my loudest call. I knew he was awake after like the third time, but he found it fun to feign sleep. While _I _found that it is easier to wake him when he is laughing.

I grabbed onto his legs and began to tickle his feet, saying all the while, "Anthony, time to go to Uncle Jakes. Time to wake up!" I saw his sides began to shake as he tried to hold his mirth in. I knew that if I left now he would just go right back to sleep, so I kept up my ministrations. My hands crawled up his legs slowly until I reached his sides. There I began to tickle him again. He started laughing loudly.

"Mama! Stop it!" he called out in between giggles. No way. He tried pushing my hands away, but I was too much for him.

"you gotta stop it, Mama!" he practically yelled. Tears began to stream down his face.

"are you awake?" I asked as I continued.

He gave me a pleading look. "yeah, yeah, I up! Stop it!" by now he was shrieking. I knew he wasnt far from the hurting stage. You know when some one tickles you so much that it hurts you side and you heart?

I stopped and picked him up. He clasped his hands around my neck and I gave him a big kiss on his cheek. Small giggles were still escaping from his mouth. I put him down and he scampered out of the room. He went to the bathroom, I knew because he took his robe with him when he left. After giving Anthony his bath we went down stairs while he tried to decide what he wanted for breakfast. After five minutes of deliberation, he decided on eggs and bacon. Which was a _big _surprise -sarcasm-. After breakfast it was time to get dressed. I started letting him schoose his own outfits after I learned that he had more style than me. Today was no different. He chose a white polo shirt wheich he put a green sweater vest over. Some corderoy pants, and his trademark white uptowns. I know, I know, a sweater vest?

He reminded me of Edward too much. That boy was too prim and proper. He never went out without looking like the perfect gentleman. His slacks were always shined, and if he wore sneakers, they were never scuffed or creased. The same with Anthony. He would rarely wear anything beside white uptowns (he absolutely resented my pumas) and when they got dirty, if it wasnt cleanable, he wouldn't wear them. The same thing for creases. If they got creased up, he would not wear them.

We were out of the door faster than normal this morning on a count of Anthony's eagerness to see Jake. I wondered what that was about but didnt see it as a problem. If anything, it was a blessing in disguise. When we got to Jakes, Anthony was already halfway out of his carseat.

"Whoa, kid," I said. "What's the big rush to get away from Mommy for?"

"I gotta see Uncle Jake!" he practically yelled at me. Jeez, no need to get excited.

"You see him nearly everyday. What's the rush today?" I asked while I helped him out of the carseat.

"Cuz we got a secret," he told me. Wow, a secret. If anyone knew this kid, they knew he couldnt keep a secret. Just like he couldnt lie. I wondered what Jake was up to.

"Cool, a secret. Can Mommy know?"

"No, Mommy, it's me and Uncle Jake's secret," he said in all seriousness.

"Please?" I begged as I helped him down. "Will you please tell me?" I made my eyes go all wide and stuck my bottom lip out as I looked down at him.

"he looked at me and bit his lip, like he was making an extremely hard decision. "Okay, okay," he told me. "You can know." he tugged my hand, telling me to bend down to his level. "Uncle Jake said that he is my new Daddy!" he whispered in my ear.

I froze. New Daddy? What the hell. I was expecting something like 'we are making brownies today' or some equally unimportant bullshit like that. Not that Jake has agreed to be my sons father. What kind of thing is that to tell a kid?

I noticed that Anthony was still awaiting my reaction so I stuck a smile on my face and hugged him to me. I needed another moment to put myself together. Jake and I had had this argument already. When I had to fill out papers for Anthony he always tried to convince me to put his name in the father section, but I couldnt do that. To think about Anthony's father was to think about that hateful man that raped me. I didnt want to think about jake like that. I wouldnt be able to survive if I didnt have jake, and I would surely lose him if I stated thinking murderous thoughts about him, right?

I pulled away from my son. Inwardly, I was seething. On the outside, I was just as happy as Anthony. We walked up to the door and I knocked. I was gonna nip this one right in the bud and get it settles before I went to work.

When Jake opened the door Anthony ran to him yelling at the top of his lungs, "Uncle Jake!" Jake laughed as he picked him up. It made me think that if any one was Anthony's dad it was Jake. Anthony leaned close to Jakes ear and whispered something and Jakes eyes shot to mine. The guilty look made my prevous thoughts disappear.

He still had no right what so ever to tell my son that without my permission and agreement. I gave Jake an evil glare and he ducked his head. I said in the nicest tone I could muster, "Anthony, why dont you go see where Auntie Leah is?" Anthony scampered off and I turned back to Jake.

"You ass! Who gave you the right?" I said in a furious whisper.

"Bella, you are overreacting. The kid was down, so I cheered him up!" he tried to convince me but I wasn't having it. There was more to it than this.

"By telling him your his new Daddy?!" his eyes got defensive and he took a step toward me.

"Yeah, by telling him I'm his new daddy. There is no one else around here for the job!" That stung me somewhere deep inside. He said it like I was purposely depriving my son of a father. It wasn't like I could tell James and become a happy family. He'd probably kill us both.

"And that's my fault?" I asked in a small voice. I could feel the tears threatening, but I wouldnt cry. I wouldn't ever cry for another man. My son and my father held my tears.

Jake must had heard the tears welling behind my eyes because his feirce expression sonftened. He came to me and tried to hug me, but I shook him off. No, he wasnt going to get off that easily.

"Dont touch me right now Jake. I cant take it," his eyes showed his hurt. The last time I had rejected his touch, we hadnt talked for a week.

I heard jake mumble something and my eyes shot to his face. He had tears running over his cheeks and a heartbreaking expression on his face.

"What?" I implored him.

"She can't have kids," he said again.

"who can't ha-" I cut myself off as realisation dawned on me. Leah couldn't have kids. I studied Jake as the tears continued to stream down his face. He looked me in my eyes and I couldn't help it. I opened my arms to him and he buried his face I my neck, crying. Jake would never have kids. This man that I knew would be the greatest dad in the world, was never going to be given the chance. Could I really take his only opportunity away from him? It wasnt like adoption was an option. The did not have enough money for that.

Anthony was in most interpretations of the word, his son. He was there when he was born, when he was sick, when was up three and four times a night, hungry. Could I deny him thee simple title as Daddy? My son already loved him like a dad. If you described a father to him and asked who his was, he would most likely say Jake. Could I tell him no, too?

"Don't deny him a father, Bella," Jake said into my neck. "Please don't deny me a son," he begged. Like it was instict, I found myself nodding to Jake. I would not deny my son a father, nor him a son. If my son found it in his heart to call Jake daddy, then that is what Jake was.


	5. ruined lunches and dropped sandwiches

Bpov

After that tearful exchange with Jake, I said goodbye to Anthony and Leah, whom I couldn't even look in the eye, and went to work. The drive was thirty minutes long, so it gave me time to contemplate all the other things that I had neglected to think about this morning. Like the fact that I was going to be late. I mean, it wasn't like they paid me for anything besides the after school tutoring, but still, first impressions mattered. I had on my 'I want to make a good first impression to you because you sounded sexy' outfit on. A black pencil skirt, with a purple v neck button up, with black pumps and black stockings. Those diaphanous ones that when you look at them you say "Wow, she has great legs!"

By the time that I got to the school, due to the hug fest that I had with Jake, I was already fifteen minutes late. I ran inside, straight to the classroom, not even bothering to slow down when I got to the room. The class was noisily catching up on the weekend that they all spent together. The new teacher was at the desk, looking through a stack of papers with a confused look on his face.

Damn, the man sounded just as he looked. Sex personified. I walked up to the desk, swaying my hips, but trying hard not to look like I was coming on to him. Man, was that hard. This was the kind of man that had 'come on to me' written on his forehead. He had gorgeously long blond hair, pulled back into a ponytail. Just looking at it you could tell that it was uber soft. And his eyes?! They were like the freaking sky at 6 o'clock. Delicious. He was tall, but not lanky. You could see that he had muscles, which were only amplified by his tight shirt.

I got to the desk and, when he didn't notice me, cleared my throat. I must have done it a little more loudly than I thought because suddenly I had the attention of the whole class. Well, whatever.

"Hi," I said holding my hand out. He looked at me over his papers.

"Hi," he replied shaking my hand. "You can go take your seat now," he told me dismissively.

The class snickered at this. The little bugs. I found no humor in this situation.

"I'm Isabella Swan, the student teacher," I reminded him. Maybe he wasn't able to remember my voice, but I remembered his. Sex personified. Just like his body.

"A flash of recognition crossed his face and he hastily rushed to rectify his mistake. "Oh, sorry!" He reached out and clasped my hand in his.

"I'm sorry that I'm late, I had a sort of family emergency this morning when I went to drop my son off," I had to get that out there. I wanted to make sure that he had no qualms about me being such a young mother, because I was probably the smartest person that he knew, anyways. I hate those jackasses that look at me funny when they find out that Anthony is my son and not my little brother.

I understand why people frown on having kids so young. For most people it literally ruins your life. Some drop out of school and end up working at McDonald's and places like that. But I was the antithesis of these people. If anything, my son made my life better. He gave me the excuse I need to take my exit exam for high school early. He gave me the incentive to study for my SAT's like my life depended on it. Because it did. Just like his did too. I was far better of than majority of those young ass mothers that pride themselves in how their kids _look_ when their kids were bad as hell and didn't want to do anything productive with their time. My son was different, some weekends, when he saw me reading, he would go and grab one of his leapfrog books and sit down with me and read too.

If this guy turned out to be the type that judged me without even knowing me, I might just have to switch classes.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but how old are you?" and there it goes.

"Well actually, I'm eighteen."

"Wow, and your in your second year of college?!" Well that didn't go exactly where I expected it to. I was expecting something a little more like "and you have a kid?!" Whatever, I would take what I got.

"Yeah. I graduated high school right after I had my son. I took my SAT's early," I told him. Happy at the fact that any preconceived notions he might have had about me went out the window when he heard that. He is the first person I've known to look beneath the surface.

"Oh, well that's great. Now, can you tell me what the deuce I'm holding?" And from there everything went smoothly.

I learned that Mr. Whitlock also graduated early, though not as early as me. He was only 23 years old. He had a way with the students too. For me, at first, it felt weird trying to boss them around because we were all nearly the same age. But then after I got a couple of 'rude' comments from a few of the males in the class, I quickly got over myself.

I could tell that they didn't like the fact that I had authority over them, but what could they do about it. I might not have age over them, but I definitely had maturity. Theses guys were the epitome of freshman. Immature. Especially the tennis players. I know, you expect from the football players right. The only problem is, Forks' football team sucks. But their tennis team is best in the state, so they were a cocky lot. They didn't seem to realize that tennis was not a sport that girls adored. At least, that was what I thought before I saw the girls at this school in action. They hung all over these guys, like freaking white on rice. Everything that these guys said was law. Ewww.

And the teachers just put up with it. They were all Forks born so they prided themselves in anything that brought glory to Forks High. Even if it meant that they had to put up with an obnoxious lot of boys.

What I like about Mr. Whitlock was that he didn't put up with it. He wasn't from here, so he really didn't give a schiznip about the tennis team winning. He let them know right out the bat that if you were failing his class, you were failing. He wasn't going to give out special grades just so someone can smack a ball around. The class snickered at that and he shot them all a look. When the beta of the tennis team got kick out for being rude, I think they finally got that he was dead serious. Before I knew it we were halfway through the day, and it was lunch time. Mr. Whitlock sat at his desk and pulled out his lunch while I sat at a students desk and pulled out my laptop. Lunch time was homework time for me. I received my assignments via email that the school assigned me and I always used lunch time to do the short ones. Like the five page essays. I left the ten and high analysis' for home.

I pulled out my sandwich while I worked on an essay about a character analysis of Fantine from Les Miserables, and I was about halfway through before someone knocked on the door. Figuring it was just the principal (that man loved me. He was friends with Charlie and 'knew me since I was in diapers' as he put it) I got up still eating my sandwich and opened the door. A boy, more like man, was standing there looking down at a paper in his hands. I almost had to bend my back to look up at his face. I was shocked when I did.

What I saw made me drop my sandwich Hot Damn! It was like a ghost coming back to haunt me. I'm sure that my mouth was agape as I stared at the curly haired brown eyed boy in front of me. The last time I had seen him he was a skinny as a twig and not much taller than me. Now he looked like a freaking body builder with muscles on his muscles.

I was staring at him intensely and he was returning it ten fold.

"Bel-, Bella?" he asked and all I could do was nod. Damn it, I cried for weeks, thinking I would never see this boy again and here he shows up, at the oddest time, looking like a wrestler. I couldn't even talk as I watched his eyes widen with surprise, but I also saw sadness there. And tears. Both of which I knew I had caused with my sudden departure from his life. Now looking at him I wondered how I could do that. How could I cause my best friend so much pain, just to ease my own?

But I knew that wasn't trued. I didn't do it just to ease my pain. I also save my sons life too.

He dropped his paper and charged toward me like a bull. For a minute I thought he was going to hurt me, he was way to big to going be going so fast. But then when I felt his arms come around me, I knew he could never hurt me. He was just as gentle as ever. At least until I hugged him back. Then he used his new found strength to probably crack three of my ribs.

"Emmet, I cant -" I gasped out, but I didn't have enough breath to finish. It appeared that he didn't hear me. For a minute I thought that I was going to die in his arms when spots started appearing in my vision. I thought that it wouldn't be such a bad way to die, the I though about Anthony.

No dying until that kid gave me five grandchildren, I vowed to myself. I guess if he ended up only have four I was gonna live forever. Whatever. That was my last thought before I passed out. Damn.

Em Pov

I woke up that morning thoroughly aggravated It was raining, again. We had been here for three days, all of which the rain hadn't stopped. We were lucky that we got them to install the beds and stuff the day we came or I would've been even angrier. Mom wouldn't have like that.

I got out of bed, scrubbing my face with my hands, hoping to get some energy before I trudged down stairs. It didn't work. I got downstairs to see mom cooking breakfast. Eggs, bacon, and grits. De-freaking-licous.

"Hey Hun," she said when she saw me. I gave a small wave as started dishing out my food. "Call your brother will you? You guys are going to be late if you don't get a start."

I nodded as I threw my head back and shouted Edwards name. Sometimes I think thats the only reason why she keeps me around. Ha, to call Moody McMoodpants out on all his shit. He's been like this every since _she _disappeared. Sometimes it's even hard for me to think her name. Like now. Mom had to take all the pictures with her in them down from around our house in Phoenix because Edward would freaking flip at the slightest reminder of her. I don't think he realized that the rest of us were hurting too. I remember in the beginning how mom's eyes would well up when she thought of her. Dad was the only one that anyone could say was infinitesimally unaffected, though I knew he wasn't That girl that had been apart of ours family like she was born into it had torn us apart when she disappeared. No one believed that she would run away. Mom still suspected foul play, but Edward and I knew. He told me that morning after she told him she was raped. We noticed how different she was after that. I figured that she just couldn't deal with being here and seeing reminders of being raped. I just wish I knew who the bastard was. I would've kick his ass and dropped his body in the woods for the wolves to eat.

We knew that she ran away, we just didn't know where to. We searched around on the computer and stuff like that, but wherever she was, she was being careful to stay out of detection. Thats what had me confused. I get why she ran away, but why not at least try to keep in touch. A letter that says 'I'm safe' or something. Thats where I got mad. We must not have been worth it. She moved on with her life, but for some reason my family couldn't We all got distant after she left, and I wondered if she knew the results and consequences of her choices.

Edward finally decided to make his appearance, ten minuted later, just to say that he wasn't coming to school today. The ass could have had the decency to at least say that when I originally called him. So I wound up going to my first day at a new school all alone. I went to the main office to get my schedule while the secretary eyed me. She looked like she was scared that I would just flip or something. She must have talk to my old school. I looked at my schedule and was happy, for the most part.

1st Block – Calculus – Mr. Gavney

2nd Block – German – Mrs. Osbourne

3rd Block – English 4 – Mr. Whitlock

4th block – Gym – Coach Ovenley

All in all, I was happy with my schedule. I loved gym class and totally dominated it German. For some reason, I couldn't seem to master English, though. It was never really one of my strong points. I remember _she _used to always try to help me, and I would get it, most of the time. All of the other times, I would sit there and look at her stupidly. This would cause the ever present laughter to bubble up in her chest and in a matter of seconds she would be doubled over, laughing at my folly.

I still had ten minutes before I had to get to class so I decided to go early, knowing I would need time to find it. I wasn't going to walk down the hall with that stupid highlighted paper I front of my face. Calculus turned out to be one of the hardest classes ever. In Phoenix the teacher was a ditz so it was easy to get by on her, but here, this guy paid attention. I guess that wouldn't be hard with 15 students in the class. I was used to double that amount.

As usual German was a breeze. The teacher seemed surprised, like just because I was so big, I didn't have any brains. Yeah, whatever hoe. I might as well live in Germany with how fluent I spoke the language. I guess having a German grandpa doesn't hurt, right?

After German was lunch time. I had avoided talking to people all day, so I didn't sit with anyone. I got a couple slices of pizza, to keep up my carbohydrates of course, and went outside to sit under the shelter of the building. There was a steady drizzle, and I could see the ground flooding. Students walked around this school in galoshes so I figured that this was a regular occurrence Man I hated this place. I was about halfway done with my third piece of pizza when the queen of sluts decided to walk over to my table and introduce herself.

"Hello, I'm Jessica," she said politely.

"Hey," I replied simply. I didn't really want to talk to her. Her smile faltered a bit as she was hurt by my curt reply. I felt bad for being so mean, but I really want in the market for a friend right now. I had to discourage her before this went to far, no time for pleasantries.

"Oh, well, my friends and I were just wondering if you wanted to come over and sit with us?" she asked. This made me feel even worse for the way I knew I would let her down. Being the rude asshole that I was, I got up with my tray and made my way in the direction of her table. Instead of sitting down, I dumped my tray in the garbage next to the table and turned around to walk back into the building, not making eye contact with anyone. I heard her outraged huff behind me, right before the door closed. Sorry, not.

I walked into the hallway and pulled out my schedule. I might as well figure out where my next class was before the _hordes_ of kids came out of the lunch room. All 70 of them might overwhelm me.

I walked down the hall, searching for room 34. I've never actually heard of a school that labels their class rooms so low, but when you have so little of them, do you really have a choice?

34 came up and I stopped in front of the door, checking the name on the door and comparing it to my schedule. It was different. The door said Mrs. Smalls while my schedule said Mr. Whitlock. I knocked on the door, decided to ask the teacher for help.

I was still studying my schedule when the door opened. I didn't actually look up until the sandwich dropped at my feet, but I knew it would be bad.

**Okay, first of all, I have to many alerts to only have five reviews. So, lets step our game up people. Next chapter comes after we hit number 15.**

**Second, sorry for taking so long, but I'm still getting into the swing of being back in school. I work on this story as much as I can, but between essays and power points I have to make, I don't have much time. I will try to update every weekend, and if my _reviewers_ ask, on Saturdays, I will just post what I've got. Otherwise, I'll post when I get done. **

**Third, here is a little bit of your Edward and Emmett. For some strange reason, I enjoyed writing a cynical Emmett, but don't worry, he wont be so angry through the whole story. He just has to clear some things up.**

**We wont get to Edwards point of view for at least 2 more chapters, but we will hear about him. **

**Next chapter will be Bella and Emmett again, so remember. 15.**


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